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“You sexy unnie,” Hanni murmurs, her lips grazing over Minji’s plush bottom lip with the kind of tender care that only experienced sexers can provide. The older girl doesn’t notice her apprehension, a result of too many dates where men assumed she wanted sex and too much self-reflection about her own intentions. She does, however, notice that she feels tingly all over.
Aella, a camgirl from the popular site Cam Girls, is on the podcast LGBTQ&A this week to talk about her memoir Camgirl, in which she describes life as a live-streaming porn worker. The book is a searingly honest, sexy, and often uncomfortable look at taboo topics, the sort of frank conversation-starter that’s hard to find in our culture, where people are still afraid to discuss porn even with close friends.
For the record, it’s not unusual to have never kissed a guy at 18. A study by University of Connecticut professor Eva Lefkowitz found that 14% of teens who were 19 had never had a first kiss. However, that doesn’t mean it should be your only metric for measuring yourself against your peers. “Your first kiss should happen when it’s right for you, regardless of whether or not 86% of your friends have already had theirs,” she says.
In the course of her interview with Jeffrey Masters, Aella talks about how much work goes into making a camgirl career look effortless — a skill she calls the hardest thing she’s ever learned. She also talks about the gendered implications of her work, and how it reshaped her views on consent in sexual relationships.
